You guessed it

I am still struggling with my mom. When I mention to my mom changing or reexamining ourselves, actions and motives, she takes it to mean that she isn't good enough. She has a very low sense of self. Over the weekend I notice that when our family gets together, I am always seeking approval from someone anyone. Why do I do that? I wish I knew. I am a funny and smart girl. I don't need anyone to tell me that. I know it but when spending time with my family I just keep interjecting everything I am good at and how well my kids are doing. I just want someone to throw me a bone. Why? There is nothing anyone can tell me about me that I don't already know yet I feel like a child just wanting someone to pat me on the head.

Long time no blogging

I haven't blogged in a LONG time. No real reason just life. My health is balancing out again. My husband has been working many long hours. I have been taking care of the kids and painting the house. I have been struggling with my relationship with my mom. She has always been her needs before anyone else's. I don't know how to cope with that. I wish I could. She put her needs in front of mine when I was child and she failed to protect me. I have trouble balancing that with I think she did the best she could with the tools she had. In my heart of hearts I believe she did the best but the problem I have is that to her that is good enough even now she doesn't change or self examine. She maintains the status quo and that isn't ok. It is ok that you make mistakes but you learn and move on. She doesn't have that part in her. Am I wrong for longing for her to change?