Jealous Mother

I have been struggling with my relationship with my mother for years. I have come to a conclusion - she is jealous of me. I am a strong and independent woman. I put myself through college. I carried 30 hours in a calendar year while maintaining a 4.0 and working 40+ years a week. I can do anything for myself. The last flat tire I had I changed. However, I choose to be in a loving relationship with my best friend. We are partners, a team. He might drop off the kids at school and I'll pick them up. He will mow the yard while I clean and trim the landscape. I cook he cleans. It is through teamwork we get things done. My mother on the other hand is dependant on my step dad. He takes care of every aspect of their lives. He earns the money and pays the bills. He chooses what car to buy, what trips to take and what they watch on TV. She is the woman therefore she does all the cooking and cleaning. My mom has never had a job that she didn't punch a time clock. I on the other hand have much flexibility in my place of employment. I am educated and considered by most bright. She isn't and struggles to understand basic language and math. I was molested as a child and worked toward healing. She hasn't even admitted she was molested although a counselor even told her mom wasn't been truthful about claiming to not be molested. I am open and honest with my spouse and kids. She isn't. I have constructed a family to not repeat the cycle of abuse and she didn't. All of this being said is not to toot my own horn. It is because my mom still to this very day calls me and tries to undermine myself esteem. Now that I recognize her game, I can deal with it head on.