Friends or Foes

I need to go to the dentist. I have a tooth that has cracked. I hate going to the dentist. I never went as a child so as an adult every visit just means more and more work. For many years, I didn't have dental insurance so that became my excuse. Now I have good insurance yet still I find myself putting it off and putting it off. I read a book that made a correlation between hating dental work and abuse. I don't know why exactly I hate the dentist so much but I do. I am home with a sick kid today. I always feel so guilty when I need time off from work to care for my kids. I am not sure why I do, I just do. I work at a state agency and there is nothing I am responsible for the is life threatening. If I didn't do my job for weeks or probably even months, nobody would suffer severe consequences. However, that doesn't stop the guilt. My kids are my most important role yet why do I feel so guilty? Is it because I am the primary bread winner? Partially because of the rising cost of everything and not getting income increases in years (yes I said years,) I know that our family has smaller and smaller buying and savings power. We are becoming increasing closer to struggling. This drives me nuts. Both my husband and I work hard and take care of our family. We both have college degrees and have furthered our training. Yet we are slowly slipping one pay check at a time closer to not making ends meet. This is scary as you can imagine. I know if something did happen, we have people who care a great deal for us. It is odd because I have never been one to ask for help. I think friends and family would help but I don't know. I am scared to ever have to found out. I would rather just pretend they would, just in case they wouldn't. Until next time...