Survivor

I recently found this blog listed on another website as one survivor’s tale. Survivor – wow I could think of a million nicknames for myself and that one would never be listed. Not that I don’t like it. I just haven’t ever seen myself as a survivor. When I say (or type) survivor I think about the people who survived 9/11, the holocaust, Katrina, being a POW, or many other horrible events. I copied the following definition of survivor from webster.com: to remain alive or in existence, live on, or to continue to function or prosper. Ok I am a survivor. However, using that definition, I have survived many things like not one but two children with the terrible twos, more than ten years of marriage, almost $4 a gallon gas, high school, college, and shopping on black Friday. I plan to survive many more things like proms, graduations, paying for college, and grandkids. I have said this before; I didn’t know not surviving was an option. I believe the most important aspect of surviving is thriving. Heck, I know people who didn’t thrive when their children hit the terrible twos or people who are stuck in a loveless marriage. When I was thrown a curve ball (sexually abused) at such a young age, it forever changed my life just like it did those who were in the holocaust, Katrina, or any other terrible situation or event. Statistics say people who go through such life changing events have an extremely high rate of using drugs and alcohol to mast the pain or inflict their pain on others around them. I refuse to do either of those options. I expect more. I wish I could say that I loved myself more than that but that would be a lie. I am learning to like me but I am not there yet. I am working on it. In time, I will be able to say I survived very low self-esteem. Until then I hope I don’t have to survive $5 a gallon gas….